Little Bits of Happiness {3}

Every night, before I go to sleep, I say a prayer to God and thank Him for everything wonderful - and even the not so great things - in my life. I ask for guidance and protection and for the safety and well-being of family and friends. It feels amazing to take those few minutes to reflect on what is really important in my life and to notice how lucky I am to be alive and to have a family and to be happy.

Little Bits of Happiness makes me the feel the same way. By making these posts (all thanks to my blogger friend, Stephanie), I get to reflect on my life and share it with the world. And sometimes finding little bits of happiness makes you realize that they aren't so little at all. In the grand scheme of things, most of these little things mean the most to me.

For this week's Little Bits of Happiness, I'm sharing with you a day trip Kyle, Carter, and I took to Niagara Falls a few weeks ago. It was a last minute decision, the weather was beyond perfect, and we cleared our day to make time for each other. It's a fun place to be for the day just to adore the falls, walk around the gardens, buy tons of candy, and go to fun houses and arcades and wax museums. Anyways, it was a sweet day with my little family and of course we snapped a whole bunch of pictures with my DSLR!

the American side of the falls



the Canadian side

In the moment

A common piece of advice from the wise is to "live in the now," to stop and be grateful for everything you have and that surrounds you. It is a hard thing to do. Sometimes I have to force myself to pay attention to the present because my mind wanders off into who-knows-where so often.

Last night, that was not the case. I came out of the washroom to see Carter up late and flipping through my journal. Instead of rushing him back to bed like I would usually do, I sat beside him and looked at his plump cheeks and still small hands. I took a moment to appreciate the little details. Then, I could not hold it in any longer and I said, "I love you, Carter." His big brown eyes looked at me and he smiled the most beautiful smile. He understood.

I cannot even begin to explain how amazing and precious of a moment that was. What I spend my every second thinking about and trying to express to Carter, he understands. He'll never remember me rocking him back and forth at the late hours of the night when he was an infant, but I did it because I love him. He won't fully understand how I sacrifice time and energy to be both a mom and a student until he's in his late teens, but I do it because I love him. And though he may not totally realize the things I do because I love him, I am over the moon to know that he feels it. That is a mom's greatest wish - for her child to be loved, to feel love, to know love.

And so, my son's eyes brought me to the present and it felt extraordinary. Being in the moment makes all of my blessings and dreams so clear. Personally, I am so thankful to be a mom and to have Carter. Yes, I am young. I do get asked how I do it or hear comments like, "Oh my goodness. I could never do that" or "That must be hard." And sometimes comments from my peers make me feel so old and I have to tell myself that they will understand later in life. But despite the fact that I haven't finished my university degree and my life has taken some turns that are not usual, I am living my dream. Completely and honestly. When I shove all of the complaints in my head aside, how can I say that this is not a dream? I am safe and loved and I have Kyle and Carter.

My blessings aren't disguised. They are right in my arms.

Little Bits of Happiness {1}

If you decide to scroll through any of my posts, you may notice that I have a big thing for focusing on the positive things in my life. I have my mom to thank for my glass-is-half-full perspective. Optimism can seem like just a way of looking at things but it's also a choice and an action. Think about it. Just deciding to smile for no reason while walking down the street, deciding to hold the door for an extra few seconds so someone can come in, deciding to appreciate the one good part of a horrible day - inevitably, these positive choices and actions will make you happier. It's not always a quick fix but it does work. Well, now that I've written a tiny theory (totally not what I was intending to write but ended up ranting), let me get into the fun part of this post. The lovely Mrs. Stephanie T recently started her own weekly post called "Little Bits of Happiness." She invites everyone to follow along, post pictures/words that have brought them happiness throughout the week, and then to link their posts on her blog. This kind of post is COMPLETELY me and I am thrilled to share with you my little bits of happiness this week.

My Krust envelope doily clutch came in! You should have seen me rip open the packaging. Excitement you wouldn't believe!

I love Carter's silly side!

Randomly, I found this iPhone case at the Gap. Floral and 20% off. Need I say more?

This one may be from a bit over a week ago, but it was taken after the swelling and pain from my wisdom teeth extraction finally went away. I may not have smiled but I was so happy to put on makeup and to feel like myself again! (p.s. my roots aren't red. It's just the lighting)

Tim Horton's coffee always makes me happy. However, it tastes even better on a snowy morning.

I tried this drink for the first time at Starbucks and it paired well with the pretty view of my university campus.

I am crazy for hand-holding! Typical hopeless romantic kind of stuff.

Nothing makes me happier than this little guy.

Regularness

While I'd love to give you guys a bunch of amazing pictures, I don't have any right now. Sometimes - when moments like these come around - I get that 'my-post-won't-be-good-enough' feeling. It's a feeling that derives from what content control can't hide - the regularness (a new word that I just made up) that I tend to tell myself isn't worth sharing on my blog.. because it's too regular and too boring and too self-explanatory to my readers. When that feeling comes around, I know I need to step out of my whiny, perfectionist box and just push myself to write. Plus, an update never hurts.

To start, this week is my reading week - a week off from school to read slash a university student's excuse to sleep in. For me, it's a time to go insane over planning Carter's 2nd birthday party which is coming up very soon!

I can't believe that I have such a handsome and lively toddler who I could swear I was just swaddling and cradling in my arms five minutes ago. It is crazy how fast they grow. And that line may sound seriously cliche and over said and just so 'mom-ish.' But it's true! And it doesn't help when motherhood makes you the biggest sap (like in my case). It's like my heart keeps whispering, "Stop growing now, baby. I just want to enjoy this for a little while longer." What other kind of love can make you so crazy to the point that you want to deal with tantrums? I can't say that there is anything like motherhood.

Motherhood has changed me so much. Or wait. Let me rephrase that. I think that motherhood has brought out a really great part of my heart, the part of me that is loving and compassionate and self-less. As a teenager, I thought I didn't have any use for that part of myself and it just remained locked away. But now, it is everything to me. And my life is really centred around being whole-hearted. You know, not being perfect but just doing everything with good intentions, appreciation, and faith. I guess it is also called growing up.

Take now as an example. I am undoubtedly tired. But I cannot put my head to rest. I don't want to close my eyes and I don't want to fall asleep (sorry! Had to add a little Aerosmith in there) because I would rather gaze at Carter while he sleeps. His cheeks are still chubby and they are quite rosy right now thanks to his eczema. He looks extremely peaceful. I wonder what he dreams about.

I may not be able to see into his dreams but I do know that when he is awake he is full of joy. He's always laughing and he loves his family. On my birthday last Saturday he walked into my room while I was asleep. I woke up after hearing his little footsteps and I said, "Good morning, Carter! Guess what! It's my birthday today!" He cuddled beside me and he softly said, "Happy birthday, Mommy." Oh man, did that make my day or did that make my day?! It just shows how pure and precious little ones are.

Another thing that I am enjoying right now is Carter's huge love for music. Last night he was singing Stereo Love while I sat there both amused and surprised. "What? You know that song?" Actually, he sings when doing almost anything. He sings to himself while he plays or when he is really focused on something. I get a good giggle out of it when he adds a high note or his own made up words to a song.

Aside from motherhood, there's not much else going on here. I am just doing my best to take care of myself and my family, to force myself to get dressed and made up when I am not feeling my best, to stop stressing over the little things, to keep up with cleaning, to keep up with the regularness as I call it. And that's the beauty of it: what I began this post with, the thought of my boring life that is unworthy of sharing, may not be exciting but because it is plain and ordinary it can be related to. We all have our own boring stuff and tough stuff that we want to mask or spice up or prettify. Interestingly, if we just lay it out as it is, it all suddenly makes sense and is worth sharing.

Hope you guys enjoyed this small update and I am wishing you a wonderful week from my corner of the internet! Hugs and kisses!

Refresh!

You know when the clock says 2:16 PM and you feel seriously overwhelmed because your day is barely over? Insert moi. It is one long day today! And since I can't avoid a few whiny complaints, I'm going to squeeze them out now and get it over with: went to bed at 2, woke up at 6, school until 9, just had a test for psychology (mini complaint: I hate science), and I miss my son. So, now that the annoying things about today are out there, what do I do with them? Should I just bury myself in self-pity? I feel like that's such an easy route for a bad day yet it doesn't get anybody anywhere. If I were to just switch my way of thinking upside down, there is bound to be a better side. So, scratch the sleep debt and the brain overload and my day has been full with a caffè mocha from Starbucks, a few giggles with friends, a completed test, no snow on the ground, and the excitement to see my little guy when my day is finally done. Looking at things from a different angle refreshes everything.